Walking In The Night--My Arch Life

前两天借来同学的手绘板（具体见上一篇日志），板子很爽，可以感应用笔压力，在电脑上模仿多画种（油画水彩水粉……）作画。

俺玩了两天，想起很多当年画画的故事和朋友~~~

美术实习的时候近一个月住在山区，生活很清苦，然而在现在看来却是很让人怀念的记忆。那个时候住在村里，每天就是画画。在太行峡谷中沿着山间溪涧行走，谷间散布着来自全国各美院或师大等学校的正在作画的学生。我也每天沿着山路行走，走在自然与村落之中，在吸引我的场景下停留驻足，或是坐下来打开画板，试图留下朝阳初升与落日余晖之间的光影变化~~

自己当年的画早已不知去向~~自那以后基本只保留了钢笔速写的习惯，还算断断续续地画到了现在。

PS.附一张近期临摹的钢笔速写，练练笔

 

 

前几天去苏州上海，仓促&短暂一行。回想一下，原来上次去到那里已是在四年前了。

 “遥远的路程昨日的梦以及远去的笑声
再次的见面我们又历经了多少的路程
……
流水它带走光阴的故事改变了我们
就在那多愁善感而初次回忆的青春”

                                                                               ……《光阴的故事》

苏州园林中去了拙政园、狮子林、怡园、网师园和沧浪亭，此外去了贝老的苏州博物馆。

在上海时间仓促，只在同济周边。

 

同济校园依旧如记忆中那样阳光明媚，

只是相伴同行的W已是同济人；

当年路边的西瓜摊已在原址升级为一小店，

当时的住处已经不在，取而代之的是同济的新公寓，

正是W和Z现在住的地方

 

四年前，我们住在同济；四年后，W和Z仍住在那个地方

四年前我在日志里感叹到不了北大，在四年后故地重游时却多了一个北大人的身份

四年前……

四年间已有很多变化悄然发生，看来似乎是源于各种偶然与戏剧性，但都与真实的付出与理想的坚持有关吧？

那么下次再去上海时呢？下个四年呢？会有怎样的惊喜，或是惆怅？

 

见到了小雪姐、石总、老吴、小朱……

去得太仓促，时间太紧，还有好多没有见到，在这里说声抱歉与遗憾

或许留一点遗憾也好，可以有更深切的期待和惊喜:D

 祝各位一切都好。

5.12周年祭

四川老乡会组织的周年祭。

时隔一年，烛光中仍有多少人泪流满面

 

坐在图书馆里，环境舒服得让人想马上睡过去~~~

周五后暂时结束了前三个星期的忙碌，可以稍休息几天，

停下来却感觉到空虚在心里蔓延，而前些天其实是忙碌而颓废的生活。

今早睡过头了，9：50才翻身起床赶去320。

我想我需要有个新的计划，一个方向。

最近很忙，上网的时间极少，所以也没时间坐下来写点东西。白天要么上课，要么收集资料忙设计，要么做汇报presentation，以及文献阅读。。。晚上十一点后回宿舍，一点后睡觉。。第二天继续……

     今晚趁着有点时间，坐下来记一点感受。

     在这里生活这两周，很少有时间出去，甚至想买点东西的计划也一再推迟。

     不过生活很充实，虽然这里教学体系施加了很多压力。

     环境很好，尤其是图书馆非常舒服， 
     我想多年以后我会感激这里的生活，宁静而充满内在的激情。

     周围同学非常优秀，也非常上进。很多人对设计的热情让人意外而惊喜，我没想到过我们会经常在一起讨论设计，非常好的设计氛围！这也是我一直期待的吧。 
     觉得两年的时间太短，而他们身上有太多优秀的地方是我需要提高的。
   
     北大有很好的氛围，尤其身边人那份普遍的执着。

     我想北大所能给予的东西中，这种氛围是最为宝贵的。^_^

     身边人太牛B了，自己也会牛B起来的。

     期待忙碌，期待厚积薄发。“安藤：孤独，也要让梦想开花。”    
－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－

     这几次设计课外教的lecture感觉很好，思路清晰许多。自己虽然意识到以前做设计的一些问题，但现在才更清晰地发现逻辑上的漏洞和方式上的缺陷。

     今晚我们组做了场地内景观视觉质量评价的图，汗呀。。明天希望别被批得太狠。。。

看到小黑的签名，倒计时一天一天
想去南校，想去看看曾经的28栋
后来认识的朋友居然也有那栋楼的，不知道7楼顶是否还有啤酒瓶子

喝点小酒思维仍然不停跳转
想想我喝多了后想法就和平时大不一样了，就想那些什么理想啊目标啊那些很让人费心的东西都TMD滚开吧老子就想好好休息简单生活一切平平常常轻轻松松地过去有朋友在身边不是一个人孤独就OK了
没有加标点，因为思绪没有间断

写了很久的话，由于突然的死机而全部丢失
刚冲凉出来，开着PS在赶毕设的图，电脑很慢，文字丢失的结果其实可以预料
也好，再一次的途述却写下了更多的文字。写了这么多，保存的时候连自己都吓一跳。

记得小的时候想长大，想要有足够的力量把握自己的命运轨迹
然而生活就是那样，只有现场直播，没有再来一次的机会

看着曾经的日志，有时候会有矫情的文字似乎故作感伤
应该都是那时候真实的想法吧，即使现在看来恍如隔世
想起曾经沉醉戏谑的日子，伴随JP漫画的"毒害"长大，我想那份矫情便是后遗症吧

想到冲凉水的习惯还是来长沙后才有的，可以发现在长沙的日子有多么潜移默化的变化
接着上面，十几年的JP漫画中走出来的竟然是个反对它传播的积极分子，是否可以说世事无常？

想起大一的时候我还和Y在半夜3点的时候躺在天马下面的草坪上，不明白为什么会有人从爱好转向反对，
而今却在自己身上自然而然的实现，现在的我是再也无法忍受那样的画面

正如曾经对英式口音的坚持早已悄然遗忘，而当年极不习惯的美式口音却越来越亲切

还有以前写的小说，描绘着精致易碎的场景；那种伪小资喜欢的调调，若是现在的我看到怕是已经吐成一地了吧？
还好已经遗忘；即使并不彻底

喜欢大开大合的场景、历史的厚重，喜欢不拘小节的真诚流露，和朋友在身边的充实
这份感情从不曾如此强烈

     过去的一年，混乱，或者说充实，都已经过去。GRE,TOEFL,申请到后来选择在国内读研。经济问题，奖学金，GPA，保研，学位……又是一个叉路口，又选择了一条不曾预计的路，呵呵。
     现在算不得尘埃落定，但也离得不远了。没有继续读规划，而是选择了PKU景观设计。
     一直在这里。很长时间一言不发，是因为想默默地完成这个过程。
     就像QQ总是隐身，但每次登录仍收到很多问候。谢谢^_^

     哈哈说得太沉重了。 说点现在的情况。在L老师公司里实习，兼作毕业设计。
     MJ签了中联，实习的地方相当近的，从我宿舍就可以看到他的楼(遥望。。)。8号那天他发了工资过来请偶吃饭，偶闻讯从公司冲回学校。结果在回去的公交上收到他的短信说去了银行才发现工资暂取不出来。
     汗～那偶请。MJ同学方向感不好，偶送他回去。在立交桥下他坚持认为要左拐走过芙蓉路才是，而我记得右拐就是了。小争议一番。。汗。右拐十五米左右就看到中联了。^_^
前晚tzq同学赶一个公园方案，把偶"征调"过去给总平面上色。汗，我的马克笔用得……。好吧好吧，谁叫咱班就俺一个人转景观了呢～～～^_^
     北上近二十天，把HIPHOP课给荒废掉了。。呵呵，回来跟阿舒练基本功吧～～反正跟着班也跳晕得乎乎的，hehe
     还想玩玩轮滑噢不知道有没功夫学学～～～
     回来见了几个师弟师妹，询问准备考研的一些一，似乎到了考研准备的季节了

this is a puzzling period since we need to consider many aspects of future life, which seemed a bit far away from us but now  so near.  Looking back upon the past months, i have given up several choices, including studyng abroad and master entrance qualification without exam..... :(

Last night ,or i should say today right before signing the employment contract, i gave up another chance of working in XXX Real Estate Group , which offers a actually satisfactory salary. The reason for my giving up is not about the salary (i'm actually satisfied with that:5000-6000 per month during probation period and would rise when becoming a regular worker.)

That's because My top concern is that I hope to start my career with real designing, namely working first in design institutes. (currently i still wanna pursue master education .)

i'm not sure whether it is right or wrong. Maybe i'm a bit confused.

Yesterday i went to our main campus to meet some friends from two QQ groups:CSU-GTER AND CSU-Feiyue.  ^_^
 
Actually i've met some of them on my TOEFL test day months ago. Time elapsed quickly. In the last months i have undergone a lot of stuff with respect to my further education plan. I took TOEFL and got an adequate result for applying, but in late September i  made the final decision to shift to Landscape Architecture and take postgraduate examination, seeking admission from PKU.
 
This surprised many pals. hehe, when asked of this question, i often covered it by saying that i've suspended my former plan and extended it indefinitely. Reasons are a bit complicated...mainly the financial one..But seriously, trust me, i made it under deep consideration:) There is no perfect choice. Sometimes we have to abandon something  in exchange for what we care about more. We either take a decisive step, or get puzzled all along. So i made it.
 
Thanks for my pals' concern. what i want to tell u is that my current plan doesn't mean i have totally given up my interest in the language and dream of experiencing a foreign culture. Realization of this dream is not only confined in studying abroad immediately upon graduation. hehe, this is not a pretext, since the feeling of taking english as a kind of music still persists.^_^
 
Examination is around the corner. HOPE everything will be fine. hope offers and admissions are on their way to us.^_^
 
(so late.....)(to be continued.)

When all the glories and tales faded away, when the darkness and shadow covered the land, there was still a beacon of light sparkling in the night.
    That's hope.
 
                                        --------Review and Comments on《Lord of The Rings》

终于忙过了前段时间几个月“黑暗”的生活 ，其实一直知道忽略了朋友的感受，忽视了其实自己非常在乎的人，但还是在很固执地做着。“忙碌”就是种毒药，让人不由自主地上瘾，然后一次又一次地借它来缓解心里的寂寞，和着那所谓的追求与梦想……
　　生命中不止抱负，梦想，不止奋斗和开创，还有贴心的、最特别的那个人。只是。。。
 
　　有多少爱可以重来有多少人愿意等待
　　当懂得珍惜以后回来却不知那份爱会不会还在·
　　有多少爱可以重来有多少人值得等待
　　当爱情已经桑田沧海是否还有勇气去爱
 
　　今天在QQ上和很久未见的朋友聊天，说起这半年来的生活，看到她讲“好丰富哦你的生活”时，突然有种错愕的感觉；送别大学的朋友，听到他说：很羡慕你大学四年过的精彩，也是有种恍惚的感觉。大学五年的目标，不围着分数转，不为奖学金而去学，只希望能享受学习设计的快乐，希望简简单单地渡过。但翻开曾经断断续续的日记后，才发现有那么多事已经遗弃在记忆深处，而自己，一直在不断变换的目标中不停地追赶。。。当然，那些人，不曾也不可能忘记。
　　
　　原来一直真的不曾停歇。曾经开玩笑说自己有工作狂的倾向，现在发现用“忙碌”为借口，把自己置身在很多事情环绕的状况下，可能只是为了忙碌而忙碌，把脑子占满而可以不去想别的事情……　　
　　只是，我知道，那不是我要的幸福。。。
　　而我，是在逃避什么？
　　其实我想说，这样真的很累；其实我想说，虽然我很喜欢《一辈子的孤单》，最爱奶茶的歌声～～～其实最初喜欢上她的声音，也是因为你呀～～～
“想要问问你敢不敢　像你说过那样的爱我
　想要问问你敢不敢　像我这样为爱痴狂
　像我这样为爱痴狂　到底你会怎么想”－－－－－－－－《为爱痴狂》
 
背景音乐换了，在屏幕前发呆，一遍又一遍地听着～～～
　　“把你的名字默念一万遍　把你的样子刻在心最里面”－－－－－－《一万遍》
 
我不想要只能《听说》，只能在《后来》回忆曾经《一次幸福的机会》。想要《收获》，在那条《幸福的路》。

I’ve been watching US TV series for days and found myself fascinated by those wonderful plays, including Prison Break, Friends, Grey's Anatomy, Kyle XY, Star Gate Atlantis, Ghost Whisperer, and Orange County ……oh, so many.............
 
    I guess both of Prison Break and Friends r too famous to be introduced, so I'd like to say something about the latter ones.
 
    Grey's Anatomy Season 1 was downloaded about one week ago, which is a story about 5 medical interns, exactly speaking, future surgeons, who just began their career in a hospital in Seattle.
 
    As a funny story, actually I never thought that it might be thought-provoking as well. It is about career, pursuit, glory, responsibility, love, friendship, competition, family. And what's more, it is about the eagerness to save patients' lives, the braveness to confess mistakes, the diligence to better themselves, and the loyalty to their duties and obligations.
   
    That's the very working style i'm fascinated by: efficiency, honesty. (I'm sure there r still other fascinating factors that i could not recall for the moment.)
 
(i didn't get any english lines for this TV play, and even chinese lines for some part. so the sentences from the play r my dictations. maybe they r not precise or accurate. )
 
    On the first day they arrived at the hospital, the following paragraph was delivered by the Chief there.
   
    "Each of u comes here hopeful, waiting on the game. A month ago u were in medical schools taught by doctors. Today u r the doctors. The seven years u should spend here as a surgical resident will be the best and worst in ur life. U will be pushed to a breaking point. Look around u.8 of u will switch to a easier specialty, 5 of u will crack under the pressure.2 of u will be asked to leave. This is ur starting line. This is ur arena. how r u playing? it is up to u."
 
    Meredith, the heroine in this play, is one of the interns.
   
    Life sucks, as Meredith said, however, there r still many beautiful things in it. (I used to hold the opinion that it was stupid to give one theme in each episode, but later i changed my idea. because i was greatly moved and touched by each theme. funny, isn't it? )
 
    She said something below.
   
    "Responsibility doesn't go away." "There's another way to survive this competition, a way no one ever seems to tell u about, one u have to learn by yourself. There r no winners or losers. Victories r counted by the number of lives saved."

Although I guessed it, I was still surprised and happy to receive your confirmation. I can recall the conversations between us on whether or not to get a job in this Industry and will always cherish the hope that u would be at a good starting point in your favorite career.

Keep going~~I have the impression that Kingsoft is quite a good company which has been a brilliant brand ever since its establishment by Qiu Bojun in 1988. Xi Shan Ju, founded in Zhuhai,1995, was said to be the earliest game studio in China, which had even been cognizant of by those who r not keen on games. (the latest news is that Xi Shan Ju has been separate from Kingsoft to form another subsidiary company due to its deficit .)

Kingsoft’s products are not in that resplendent position as they used to be in the era of DOS, however, it has expanded its operation to many fields successfully and spanned the period of outdated individual workshop or individual\ heroism; there is a\counterexample of Herosoft Inc., founded by Liang Zhaoxin in 1998. As a technologist, Mr. Liang is really outstanding, but I can still feel the individual heroism in his book 《Motto of a Master programmer》(this English name is my translation because I cannot find it.). Now Herosoft pitched its goal to be a provider of Multi-media technology, trying to be professional in this field. (Maybe due to my prejudice) I don’t think its future promising yet. Those who are crazy in technologies could not conduct their company in the long run, as evidenced by plenty of examples. RealNetworks, which used to be second to None in the field of Steam Media Technique, was forced into extremity by Microsoft. Another example in our neighborhood, Gainward with its own technologies, which took its own way even in the alteration of PCB, has been sold out in 2005, whose name would not be heard of by many current DIYers any more.

Similarly, there r also problems in Kingsoft, such as the product line being so long, fickleness to pursue success, and the carelessness in some specific products. For example, doubt on Kingsoft anti-virus. The only product remaining in my PC seems to be Kingsoft Ciba, however, there still some problems in it, especially in the validity in explanation. I can remember in chinadaily bbs there are posts focusing on mistakes in Kingsoft Ciba but feel regretful to find that mistakes remain after several updates; the deficit of game department was really regretful.

In 2006 Kingsoft has emphasize that WPS would still be the flagship products, however, some obvious evidence has actually shown the trend that Kingsoft shifts its attention to online games. Not to mention WPS in the era of DOS, which used to be powerful enough to challenge Microsoft, even WPS97 was quite famous when it came out. But nowadays, blind imitation and the limit of WORD file format make it a “Chicken ribs”. I guess Kingsoft doesn't want to give up this famous brand, however, its actions have destroyed its original creation. Alas, Word could do what WPS could, but it could not definitely do what Word could. What’s more, the file format of Word has taken an undeniable dominant position. So give me one reason to use WPS.

Over all, I’m so proud of you.^_^

I haven't updated my space for several days due to my busy work in design and preparation for the final exams.

Just now I read two articles, of which one is in the QQ zone and the other is in my dear Sister Shirley's MSN space. Both of them r kinda negative and depressive.

For the first: trouble in hunting for a chance for internship. Actually I already know some difficulties they came across in finding a place for internship from my classmates. Frankly speaking, it is thought that most of my schoolfellows r not so brilliant but another important factor is that the university we r studying in seems of low repute in this field. That’s why they got refusal just after the employer hears the name of this university, regardless of their actual abilities. What’s worse, without being asked to prove identity, they got a completely different reply in the same institutes when pretending to be students of Tonji University, which was actually warm welcome instead of refusal.

This is similar to what my sister Shirley wrote in her blog: Are people born equal? She said that people were actually not born equal, both materially and spiritually, because of their different family background. actually, I agree that those lucky kids can have a bright future even though they are not studying hard, they can lead a more comfortable life though they don’t work hard…but I can never believe people’s fates have been decided the moment they are born. I hold strong belief that in most cases fortune and wealth can only be obtained within three generations ,which will be splurged by beaus of the next generation in this kindred( or family) due to ignorance and backslide caused by the luxurious life.

I try to strive with all negative factors because I believe it is only efforts and positive actions that can change the situation and prompt ourselves in all aspects, from which the lost equality can finally be regained.

Hardships may be real disasters in our lives but not always the barriers which hinder us from gaining prospective success. A lot of things can be learned from them. Actually it is hardships and adversities that greatly shaped us out of juvenility and inexperience into maturation. From this aspect, hardships and adversities can be turned into treasure and foundation of our career. All rest with how we react to them and what actions have been taken.

What is a winner?

A winner is not afraid to do his own thinking and to use his own knowledge. He can separate facts from opinion and doesn't pretend to have all the answers. He listens to others, evaluates what they say, but comes to his own conclusions. While he can admire and respect other people, he is not totally defined, bound, or awed by them.

Never give up!

"I can not "never does anything worthwhile; but "I will try” accomplishes wonders. Let us remember that we shall meet difficulties all through life. They are in the pathway of everyone. If we will only try and keep trying, we shall be sure to conquer and overcome every difficulty we meet.

i didn't notice the coming of Father's Day until　last Saturday night.After all, it is not a traditional chinese festival. But I phoned my parents immediately I arrived at my dorm.
 
With my memory reaching back over the years after my birth,i'm really grateful to my dear parents for their love , directions and upbringing, from which i gained knowledge, got to know obligations and responsibilities to develop and fulfill myself.
 
It is said that Chinese people r not used to saying "i love u" to their parents because of the traditions. Actually so am i. i never say such words to them ,while in fact i practiced it so many times in my heart ,but found it extremely difficult for me to speak it out every time when i stepped up to them. what i have done is to embrace them with my appreciation and love from the bottom of my heart.
 
Best wishes，Dad.U r neither rich nor knowledgable, but i got far more than money or other kinds of material support. moreover,I'm glad,lucky and honoured that u r my Dad.Over the years,we have had many differences but i know u r always on my side,holding my hand when i need it.
 
Thanks.